When compiling a list of the most desirable video game characters one cannot be too rushed. It takes thought, it takes looking beyond the pixel, and it takes blood, sweat, and tears. You will be experiencing the most accurate Top 5-sexy-video-game-male-character rating of your lives. Enjoy.

The List

#5: Nathan Drake – Uncharted

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Okay, he is on the list. He basically has to be on the list. Every list has him on it. Ugh. Now that you see his name, let’s get into the other babes.

#4: Lee – The Walking Dead

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An intellectual man with a penchant for being independent and resourceful, Lee not only has the grizzled face scruff, height, and great bone structure to woo you in but he’s just a damn fine person to have around if you are in a post-apocalyptic scenario. If you aren’t being attacked by zombies you might want to worry about the fact that Lee did kill the guy who was sleeping with his wife, buuuuuuuut, we will just turn that page.

Truly, the best elements of Lee are his ability to reason, show an exceptionally human side of himself to others, and that he takes care for those he cares about like no other. I still think about the season finale of The Walking Dead and wonder why I was not his wife, I NEVER would have cheated on that hunk of brain cells.

#3: Wario – Super Mario

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You got into that weird part of Youtube again and after spending countless hours confusing yourself and feeling awkward, a video of two people wearing leather pants and rolling around in fresh lawn clippings pops up on the screen. Despite knowing you are still in the weird part of Youtube.. you are intrigued. Suddenly you realize that, just maybe, this could be your kink. No! You shut the browser off and take a shower. For the next two weeks, you think about what you saw, but you are too nervous to bring it up to your significant other. What if they think you are a freak for wanting to try out such an audacious act!

Enter in Wario. Wario is down. Wario will do whatever the fuck it takes to get you to the best O of your life. Wario is in it to win it, and your pleasure is the only thing that can straighten out that fucked up mustache. So, if you want a sex master that knows how to please you appreciate Wario being on this list. He can blow your mind.

#2: Leon Kennedy – Resident Evil

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Leon falls into the complicated playboy category. A flirt with a selflessness that has him taking bullets for relative strangers, and a depth that shows focus, passion, and at times an alarming coldness -but never towards those under his wing. There are a lot of these types in video games, but there are specific reasons why Leon makes it to this list. Perhaps the most important is, if you spend enough time with him, he will probably begin to harbor some feelings for you since Leon is prone to a protective nature. However, this alone is not a reason to let the allure of those flowing bangs and muscular arms sway you.

No, you are a modern human and are keenly aware of the dangers of STIs in the dating scene. Leon, despite having spent a considerable amount of time covered in G-virus guts, is probably the least likely to transmit a sexually transmitted disease your way. Dude is just too busy saving the day to really get a ton of action and therefore easily bumps out competitors like Geralt in The Wicher (riddled with diseases, most assuredly). He also shows he’s actually interested in physical contact, unlike competitors like Snake in Metal Gear Solid (assumedly asexual).

#1: Pete – Harvest Moon

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Perhaps you named him something else, but, in the original Harvest Moon, the silent male protagonist’s name is actually, Pete. Pete is a simple soul and a man of few words. His casual style and generic appearance may have you questioning why he is on this list but let’s get one thing straight. Pete is a God damn man. Not only does Pete work an entire farm his damn self, he spends countless hours listening to the townsfolk blab on about this or that.

Did you get that? He. Listens. To. People. Never will you be worried that Pete is not interested in you because in order to win your heart he will talk to you every day, as well as bring you your favorite gifts every day until you agree to marry him. He may start out without a penny, but Pete is a hard worker and with time will become as rich with gold as Scrooge McDuck. Pete fucking rules as a human being, and a sexy empathetic lover.